GK Jean ‘Shilton’ Minne

DF A. Hodgson / J. Philpot / S. Lachia / D. Bernardo / S. Takeda

MF S. Lamarra / R. McGeehan / L. Novak

FW D. Heerkens / D. Donner

Subs D. Lebbink / K. de Roeck / T. Kellermann / R. Brown

Everyone knows that the best place to be at Christmas is at the top of the ABSSA tree and RBBFC went into the last fixture of 2016 knowing a win and a few goals would see them sit at the top of the pile. This week’s opponents were Entente, known in less celebral terms as ‘those futsal wankers’, a dangerous team who had made the mistake of riling the British by beating them at the start of the season.

There was thus a clear smell of revenge mixed with Tiger Balm and Red Bull in the air as the squad began arriving in dribs and drabs, loosely interpreting the meaning of ‘1pm at the latest’. The lack of music was leading to some uncomfortable efforts at conversation while everyone put their nice new training tops on and James got his mega value Salzenger sweatshirt out. Robbie Brown was back in town and had decided to celebrate his latest 19thbirthday with us and make his annual claim for young player of the year. Santa Brown also decided to give half the team some cast-off boots from his various sponsors, which went down pretty well with half the team and not so well with the other half. Unfortunately he forgot to bring any for the captain and was immediately benched.

Down to business, the captain announced the team and gave the simple message to take the game to the opposition and play a fast-paced game. Vice-captain Hodge chipped in and shattered two windows with the intensity of his message about intensity. Steve presented the latest findings of his post-doctoral research into ranking the days of the week and Coach McGrath Jr would probably have said something inspirational if he had been there by then.

True to their word RBBFC started well and were pressing the opposition back in an open game. It didn’t take long to break the deadlock, a nice move down the right saw Hodge release Dries who picked out Daniel at the far post. Daniel headed the ball back towards the penalty spot where McGeehan was waiting. The ball bounced up awkwardly but fortunately Richie is so slow these days there was no danger of him snatching at it and waited for it to come down before finding the bottom corner. Entente then decided to enter the Christmas spirit with a little present for the second goal. When McGeehan tried to release Takeda down the left, the Entente defender and keeper seemed to have it covered. Instead, seeing Takeda coming they couldn’t resist doing the ‘getting Shinny with it’ dance and left the ball behind, Shin calmly tucking the ball away.

Entente were still coming forward but the Belgian Neville Southall and his defence were dealing with the threat well while the Brits were exploiting the gaps left in the Entente defence. Keeping the intensity up, RBBFC played a quick corner and Dries’ cross fell to Dex who swivelled, jigged, got down low and dancehalled the ball into the bottom corner. Three goals are pretty nice but not enough for the whites on this form. Buzzing with confidence, RBBFC decided to try their much-maligned near post corner routine and this time Dries powered his header into the top corner.

4-0 the half-time score and the freshly arrived Coach McGrath Jr, completely forgetting the family coaching manual, told us how well we were playing and how nice it was to watch. More of the same please.

The second half went much the same way as the first, with RBBFC on top and Entente still trying to play. Goal number five was not far away as Luka and Dries broke down the left and fed the ball to Daniel at the far post who placed the ball in the bottom corner in a sustainable and environmentally-friendly manner. Six soon followed as another move down the left this time found Hodge at the back stick who cushioned a pass to McGeehan to beat the keeper and poke in. Clearly the force was with him on this day. Hodge was now on the prowl for a goal and only needed one chance when Luka popped down from the second floor and found him with a nice pass from the left. Hodge did the rest with a precision shot to the bottom corner.

At some point during all this and just when the defence and Belgian Seaman were getting excited about a clean sheet, Entente scored. It wasn’t entirely clear who was at fault for the goal but rumour has it that there was a greying 40-something looking guy muttering something about Ben Thom losing his man. Clearly time for Didi and Kev to come on and shore up the defence, while Robbie was off to trade some boots for a game with the seconds. It was round about this time that the game descended into farce. Entente decided that it was all the ref’s fault, McGeehan was holding an impromtu language tandem in the centre circle, and Lamarra was taking some hefty blows in the midfield.

Entente’s more physical approach then brought a penalty when Dries was taken down. At 7-1 this got several players excited, the Belgian Jim Leighton sprinted up from goal, Dries was interested, McGeehan was on a hatrick but Steve, apparently our designated penalty taker, explained that at this critical juncture in the game it was important to respect protocol. He duly stuck it away for goal number eight. The German Tormeister then decided that despite his dodgy hamstring the chance of a goal was worth the risk and came on for the last few minutes. He didn’t really do much though and in fact, only touched the ball once. Oh OK, that touch was rather golden as he smashed it into the top corner on the volley from the corner of the area that even brought applause from the opposition who obviously didn’t see it came off his shin.

This was all too much for the ref who decided to blow up five minutes early. There weren’t too many complaints though as RBBFC had a Christmas date in Leuven to hammer some nails into some holes.

MOM & Reporter: Richard McGeehan