Line-up: Puig, Mineo, Bon, Ricketts, Borja, Vazquez, Legere, McGirr, Wetzel, Lambers, Henriquez / Subs: Gonzalez

On the back of their 3 successive victories, RBBFC 2s looked to maintain their scintillating start to the season by getting maximum points away at Union JP. However, for Puig the prepartions for the game couldn't have gone much worse with much of the squad staging a walkout over the well-publicised team selection spat between the Spanish mafia a few weeks earlier.

Marca -Jimenez: "Recibieron favores sexuales , promesas no se cumplieron"

AS - Puig: "Sólo dije que puede jugar, que no especificó el tiempo"

All of this was particularity unhelpful for Puig given the backdrop of the local elections back in his native Catalonia, which could mean his beloved FC Barcelona become a backwater side like Celtic, Ajax or Anderlecht. The pressure was obviously bearing down on Puig, who was visibly run down, with rumours circulating about the state of his health.

With all of this weighing down on "El Capitano's” shoulders he would have not been reassured early on as the game started slowly, with both sides feeling each other out. Nerves were evident with no side was stringing together much who could be described as football. The early exchanges were summed up by Bon who managed to almost fall over trying to pass the ball back to his keeper. This embarrassing show of athletic prowess, or lack of, seemed to spur RBBFC into taking more of a hold on the game.

As the half went on RBBFC started to dominate possession, prodding and probing into Union JP's half, with little joy. Not for the lack of trying, RBBFC failed to find the tempo and width needed to convert their into the incisive play needed in the final third of the pitch. Despite their best efforts, the RBBFC forward line of Henriquez, Wetzel and Lambers were looking isolated and understandably frustrated.

Aside from a speculative effort from distance by Henriquez that came close, the best chance of the half fell to Borja who was put through on goal after RBBFC's best move of the half, only to see his effort blocked by the advancing keeper. Half time. 0-0.

RBBFC were clearly read the riot act at half time as they started the second half at a blistering pace which Union JP were unable to cope with, having chasing shadows for much of the first half. The Union JP management must have been rueing an ineffective pre-season as their side looked incapable of keeping up with RBBFC for 70 minutes (let alone a proper match of 90 minutes).

The early pressure led to RBBFC winning a free-kick on the corner of the penalty area. McGirr and Legere discussed long and hard about who should have the free-kick, but McGirr was given the license to take responsibility on the instructions of "El Capitano" -"Ally, if the keeper is shit, you can have free-kicks".

With this sage advice straight out of Pep's guidebook, along with the veteran Legere's advice of"Second post...psssh....second post", McGirr lined up the valve in the ball, assessed the wind conditions, the direction of the sun and the humidity in the air, and proceeded to hit the ball straight at the keeper. Luckily, the keeper distracted by all of this faffing around appeared to have momentarily lost concentration and let the ball through his arms and RBBFC had broken the deadlock. McGirr looked embarrassed, but RBBFC didn't care. 0-1.

Soon after the first goal, with the keeper’s suspect ability called in to question, Legere used all of his experience to exploit this weakness. Like the wily old fox he is, Legere looped a bouncing ball on the edge of the box into the keeper's arms, to see the same thing happen again. 0-2

The game looked over as a contest, with Union JP unable to match their opponents as RBBFC continued to build on their early work in the second half, getting their full backs up the pitch to support the wingers, who were able to exploit the width in a way they didn't in the first half. This width and increased tempo, along with the midfield getting up to support the isolated and frustrated looking Lambers, led to RBBFC creating a flurry of chances, with a number falling to McGirr who was particularly wasteful, striking the post twice and blazing over from 10 yards out.

However, as the Flemish say"Je mist altijd 100% van de schoten u geen rekening". Although Flemish Lambers wasn't saying that, he appeared to be saying something much worse, especially when McGirr didn't pass to him when he was one-on-one with the keeper from a Legere through ball.

With the high tempo game working for RBBFC, Puig looked to keep up the speed of the game, by replacing the hard working Wetzel with new signing Gonzalez. Gonzalez's introduction to the game worked immediately. After some exciting football down the left between Borja, Henriquez and Lambers, the ball flashed across the box for the fresh Gonzalez to divert the ball goalwards. 0-3.

With the game effectively done and dusted, it was time for RBBFC's samba football. Missing their usual injection of "Joga Bonito” from Claudinho, RBBFC had to get its exciting (and irresponsible) football from its other Latin American import, Borja. Borja stepped forward in a way that only that a full back from the Americas can, dropped a shoulder, and let fly from 25 yards, with the ball flying past the keeper before he had a chance to move. Easily the best goal of the game. 0-4.

With the left back getting in on the scoring, the ever industrious Mineo, wasn't to be left out. After some slick tika-taka football from RBBFC, Mineo found himself through on goal with only the keeper to beat. With some quick thinking, a dink of the ball later, Mineo sprinted into an empty net to round of the scoring. 0-5. You could see what it meant to Mineo, as he proceeded to sprint back to the half-way line in celebration with the raw animal emotion we have become accustomed to seeing from Mineo. Mrs Mineo is a lucky lady.

5-0, 3 points and top of the league (thanks to an admin error). On their showing in the first half , the result may have flattered RBBFC. However, their second half performance was so dominant that Bon and Ricketts were barely in the game, snuffing out the occasional Union JP foray into their domain with consummate ease. Life is easy with "Pitbull" Vazquez shielding you from the worries of the outside world.

Next week they face their toughest challenge yet against 4th placed E.S.A, and will have much to be positive about with the "El Chapero” walkout resolved and many of the players returning to the squad. However, RBBFC still have some of the squad missing ahead of next week's clash as well as some doubts.

Doubts:

Skoniezki (Girlfriend)

Guarnaccia (Undefined rash)

Deschamps (According to facebook has an event on Friday)

Vazquez (May have to hold together the Federal state of Spain)

Out:

Ricketts (Babysitting duty)

Claudinho (Longstanding samba related injury)

RBBFC 2s march on, knowing well that anything less than maximum points is "shit".

MOM and reporter: Alistair "The Shark" McGirr